I Analyzed My Relationship’s Texts with ChatGPT – Here’s What I Learned
My best friend knows everything. Over the years, she’s been my go-to for relationship advice. We’ve spent hours on video calls dissecting men’s texts, analyzing, advising, and ultimately picking up the pieces. When I saw a Reel about using ChatGPT for relationship feedback, I was intrigued. The concept was simple: upload your WhatsApp chat history and get insights into your relationship.
I decided to test it. Greg and I have been dating for a year, and things have been smooth sailing, or so I thought.
Feeding the Beast
With our WhatsApp history extracted and uploaded, Greg and I stared at the blank screen, ready to analyze.
I typed, “Does Greg love me?” It wasn’t my finest question. ChatGPT was quick. It instantly told us it would scan the file for explicit declarations, consistent emotional investment, and sacrificial effort.
After a brief pause, the answer was yes.
Courtesy of Eibhlis Gale-Coleman and ChatGPT
ChatGPT also provided a list of examples, pulling evidence from our chat. Reassurance and care? Commitment and support? Each had a supporting quote.
In under five seconds, it analyzed all 23,299 messages and neatly organized its findings.
“Greg is emotionally invested in you and has expressed love directly and consistently. His messages show that he cares deeply, wants to support you, and values your relationship,” ChatGPT summarized.
Emotional Availability
According to ChatGPT, emotional availability was almost a level playing field, but the system also noted that we approach it differently.
While Greg is more action-oriented with communication, I lean towards words and deep conversations. I might talk about feelings, but he’s likely to initiate check-ins or plan activities. The AI gave Greg the ‘healthiest communicator’ title.
“Greg’s communication might be slightly more ‘textbook healthy,'” ChatGPT revealed, citing his patience, flexibility, and consistent morning messages.
The Effort Gap
Greg leaned over and asked, “Who cares more?” The answer was humbling: Greg puts in more effort.
It felt like a blow to both of us, but the reasoning was interesting. There was a huge discrepancy in the number of questions asked, with Greg having sent significantly more than I did.
I’ll admit I’ve felt bad about letting Greg take the lead with communication. Who knew ChatGPT would be why we’d revisit our communication expectations?
Courtesy of Eibhlis Gale-Coleman and ChatGPT
The first piece of advice was, “Eib could take more initiative in reaching out.” Greg laughed, “I don’t mind.” I believe him, but I’m secretly glad I got that feedback so I can make some changes.
Is ChatGPT Actually Useful?
I asked how reliable its dating advice was.
The response came instantly: “My dating advice is based on psychology, relationship research, and real-world patterns, but, like any advice, it’s not one-size-fits-all.”
ChatGPT uses, “insights from attachment theory, Gottman Institute research, and communication studies.”
“Unlike friends who might sugarcoat things or project their own experiences, I analyze patterns without personal bias,” ChatGPT replied.
The results were humbling, to say the least. I’ll pay more attention to how I communicate with my partner.
